uaap finals - the broken dream

since the start of the 71st season i have already planned to take a break from school and watch a game live (particularly an Ateneo game). when i told my BFFs about it, they grew ecstatic and said that they would come with me. so we planned about it. our original plan was to watch during the regular season since i knew, based from personal experience, that the Finals is a tough time to watch the UAAP. however, due to school work, stress and other circumstances, we weren't able to watch an Ateneo game during the regular season.

before we knew it, it was already the Finals and, lo and behold, it was an Ateneo-La Salle Finals. in this kind of circumstance, you need to double (or triple, if need be) your guts and your speed on getting tickets. i called the ticketnet for n times and even begged them to reserve three tickets for me (it was a desperate move). i went to araneta as early as i could but came there way too early. next, i called a friend in La Salle (unfortunately, i don't have contacts in Ateneo) and asked her to purchase me tickets since 80% of it are sold in the schools. one of my BFFs, just to be sure of getting hold of the tickets, suggested that we'd go to araneta early morning of monday (these are for the game 2 tickets) despite of the fact that we have classes (she was willing to cut classes; another desperate move). good thing she changed her mind in the last minute because i reminded her that we have a quiz on our first subject (which is a major subject). we then decided to go to araneta after classes which is around 2pm. before heading there, i called ticketnet again to inquire if there are still available tickets. as i expected, it was completely sold out. our last chance was my friend but the night before the game she told me that she didn't get any. she tried reserving using her account in La Salle but they rejected it.

my BFFs were pretty much disappointed (i was able to overcome the disappointment sooner because i somehow expected it). it was their dream of watching a UAAP game live and meeting Chris Tiu in person. and within one week, it was slowly crushed. i felt bad because i put my friends' hope up even though i knew deep inside me that it wouldn't work. doing all that i could wasn't an enough consolation for me. besides, school work was a big hindrance. i wouldn't have enjoyed the game knowing that waiting at home was my mini-thesis. in fact, i was able to watch only the last 2 minutes of the game because i came home around 7pm already (due to school work).

watching the UAAP Finals became a broken dream but the fact that Ateneo won the championship, it was more than enough. because i knew that it is the dream of more people.

deathless (butt-in)

"deathless" is purely a work of my imagination. in fact, it's a work of my hyperactive imagination. it is my masterpiece where i let my imagination control every bit of me. therefore, every bit of my masterpiece is just imagination.
if there are points or pieces in "deathless" that doesn't fit facts or if there are people or events that relate to real people or events, blame it to my imagination. *wink* or just allow me to use my literary license. another *wink*
i read in a reader's digest once that a good writer makes the line between fiction and reality ambiguous. in that case, i still am a writer-in-progress.
nevertheless, you still have the right to indulge in "deathless", a work of pure imagination.

deathless (chapter five)

Insomnia was back again, and this time, Caleb invited it. He is not tired enough to lie down and wait for sleep to overcome him. He took this opportunity to sneak out of the house and roam around the city. It is already half past one, but the main streets are still alive with people all about. What do you expect? This is Bern, Switzerland, one of the major cities of Europe. Caleb thought that people here never sleeps, which is actually quite a possibility.

He decided to stroll around the park instead of going inside one of the bars. He’s not in the mood for partying right now. All he wanted was to breath some fresh air.

He had reached an avenue of trees. He had always liked this portion of the park for it reminds him of the family ranch back in Portugal. The air was so cool and the surroundings were so serene. There was not single person in the avenue, which is a good sign that he could wallow in his nostalgia. Except, there suddenly appeared a woman. From fifty meters away, Caleb could tell that she’s one of earth’s very blessed. Blessed with beauty that is. As they were approaching each other, Caleb slowly recognized her. The girl back in Fiona’s school! Now is his chance to introduce himself and get to know her. Ten meters… Five meters… Two meters…

“Hi! You look familiar to me,” Caleb started.

The girl raised an eyebrow at him. This guy is actually using the oldest and the lamest pick-up line she had ever heard! And he’s using it on her…

“Oh really?”

“Don’t you remember? We passed by each other in your school the other day while my cousin was touring me around.”

“And who’s your cousin?”

“Fiona. Fiona Goulbourn.”

“So, you’re a cousin of that Goulbourn girl.”

“You know Fiona?”

“I don’t know her personally.”

“Anyway, I’m Caleb.”

“Nice to meet you, Caleb.”

Gosh, she’s not falling into my pick-up!

“So, what does a girl like you walking alone at this time?”

“I could tell you’re new here. Don’t you know that people are used to seeing girls walking in this avenue alone, whether it’s broad sunlight or dark moonlight? In fact, this avenue is more popularly known as the `Lady Lane`, for it is intended to impress ladies of all ages.”

“But I didn’t see any sign that says that men are not allowed here.”

“And who said men aren’t allowed here? I was answering your question of why I am here alone.”

“Then, would you like an acquaintance? Someone who would serve as your company?”

“I don’t need a company right now, nor an acquaintance. Besides, I so much not trust strangers.”

“But I am not a stranger to you. We’ve seen each other in your school. You know that I’m Fiona Goulbourn’s cousin. And just now I told you my name, which is Caleb. If you’re still not satisfied, then I’ll give you my full name: Caleb Luis Antonio Goulbourn Santibañez.”

This girl is so hard to get. I have already given more than I have bargained for.

“You do not need to introduce yourself. I already know. You’re from the royal family of Portugal. The only son and heir of the Baron and Baroness of Portugal who recently divorced, in so happening that Señora Santibañez denounced her title and Señor Santibañez would soon be removed of his, after marrying another woman. Am I not correct or just precisely?” the girl said with a little wicked smile playing on her lips.

“OK, missy. You got it. You already know who I am. Now, may I know your name?”

“My name is Laverne, and that’s all I can give you. Besides, you’re the soon-to-be baron of Portugal. Why don’t you just look me up for more information?” her wicked smile started to grow. With that, she walked away, leaving Caleb standing frozen in the middle of the avenue.

She’s one out-of-the-ordinary woman I have ever met! I am sure I am going to look you up, Laverne.

Laverne started walking out of the park. After what she had heard from her family tonight, she asked for their permission to have a breath of fresh air. What she didn’t expect is that they let her go without any chaperone or bodyguard. That means, they let her go alone. Her very first taste of freedom. Something she needs to hold on to and cherish forever for she had a feeling it will not last long and it will never happen again. Yet, it was all ruined by that royalty from Portugal. Laverne admitted to herself that the future baron is in fact cute, and the hint of Portuguese accent when he speaks English made him more dashing. Nevertheless, she can’t believe that a royalty would use the lamest pick-up line ever composed in history and that he’s too slow to pick up things for himself. Minus dashing points.

deathless (chapter four)

In the Beaufort mansion, there are more activity than ever. That is because the party of the year is about to happen the very next day. Everyone is in a bustle. Everyone that is, except for Laverne, who decided to lock herself up in her room for the whole day and insisted that no one must disturb her. She’s frantically worried about her parents. Tomorrow is her birthday but they hadn’t arrived yet from Germany. She’s been calling them since she woke up but she is not getting any answer. Her brothers and her sister has arrived, yet, it didn’t settle down her nerves.

After she had her dinner, which Deborah brought to her room, she cried herself to sleep. She cried because she was too worried about her parents. She cried because of the pain she had so much experienced in the past. She cried because until now she doesn’t have the answers to her questions. She cried because she is so uncertain of her future, a future that is being laid down by other people instead of her.

Then, there was someone softly tugging her shoulders and whispering her name. When she slowly opened her eyes, Laverne saw the blurry silhouette of a woman. By the sound of her voice, she could tell that the woman was Dionne.

“Laverne, wake up. Here, take these clothes and get dressed,” her sister softly whispered.

“What time is it?”

“It’s thirty minutes ’til midnight.”

“What is it about?”

“Mom and Dad wanted to see you.”

The news that her parents had already arrived made Laverne jump from her bed and run to the bathroom to change her nightgown. Excitement of seeing her parents again never made her pause to see that the clothes Dionne gave her were a bit too formal for the occasion. It was a white chiffon dress with a long flowing skirt that reached the floor. When she came out of the bathroom, she found out that it has matching shoes. Dionne was wearing the same kind of dress except it was of a deep violet shade. Laverne just thought that they are about to surprise her with pre-party family dinner.

Dionne led her to the family room which is brightly lit. It was a room half the size of a ballroom. It has a large fireplace, big and comfortable armchairs, a few bookshelves and some portraits of their ancestors decorating the walls of the large room. By the time Laverne entered the room, she heard the clock strike twelve. It’s my birthday already. I am finally twenty-three. As she was running to greet her parents, she was secretly wishing that they would put off the party scheduled that evening and they would show her tickets to Brunei or Taiwan. That would be so exciting! However, she noticed that Boris and Xavier were the only ones sitting across her parents. Where is Dionne’s husband and Boris’ wife? Why aren’t they here?

“Happy birthday, sweetie,” her mom greeted her.

“The baby girl is finally twenty-three,” it was Xavier, who always love to play his jokes on her.

“Happy birthday, Laverne Gwendolyn,” her dad said as he stood up and scooped her into his arms.

“Thank you so much,” Laverne said, teary-eyed.

“But before we get to the celebration itself, there are a lot of things we need to talk about,” Mr. Beaufort continued.

Laverne was confused. When she looked around her, everyone suddenly became serious. Dionne has already seated herself to one of the armchairs. Her dad motioned her to the only free armchair left on that side of the room.

“Now that you’re twenty-three, it is high time for you to know more about our family. It has been a tradition that on the first hour of the twenty-third birthday of any member of the family, answers to questions would be given, clarifications for the mind will be administered and so therefore, the family secret would be unveiled. Dionne, Boris and Xavier had all been through this same scenario.”

Laverne looked at her sister and brothers one by one and was looking for answers on what was going on. All she had was a smiling face in reply, as if something exciting is about to happen.

“Laverne,” her father took her attention back to him. “Do you know who is that?” -And he pointed to a portrait on one side of a wall.

“Yes, Dad. That is Great Grandmother Laverne, your father’s mother, whom I was named after. Which is I think because I look a lot like her.”

“It is more than that, my dear daughter. You are, in fact, her.”

“I am sorry, Dad. I didn’t catch that.”

“I want you to listen intently, Laverne, for I will only tell you this once. We are a family of immortals. We live until we are in our 80’s then we die. However, after two generations, we are born once again. The same person, the same being as we are before. Exactly, the same, only had lived in a different time. And yet, will never remember a single detail about our past lives. You will have to wait until your twenty-third birthday before the truth is once again revealed unto you. Because we are immortals, all of us die a natural death. Not one of us die in an accident, sickness or even a heart attack. No one dies before they reach their 80’s.”

“So, you mean two generations ago, which is around 200 years ago, I had already lived the same life I am living now except it happened in a different time?”

“Not exactly the same, though. But yes, you did. There are a few differences but quite a few so it’s hardly noticeable.”

“Are you indirectly saying to me that the make-believe stories people are inventing about our family are true?”

“Yes, I should say some of it is true. Except that we are not witches and wizards, and we do not have extraordinary powers other than this.”
“Is that why I feel so different from other people? Not because I came from a very wealthy family that somehow controls the Swiss economy but because I am an immortal?”

“Yes, that is the case.”

“Are we the only ones? I mean, are there any other people who are like us, immortals?”

“Yes, there are. In fact, there are five major families with members scattered all over Europe who are also immortals.”

“How about the people who are working for us, like Deborah? Are they immortals?”

“No, they aren’t. But their families are bound to serve us until the end of their lineage.”

“Am I allowed to love and marry a man who is not like us? I mean, a mortal?”

“That is a pretty good question, darling. And I have a pretty good answer, and that is no. Immortals are not allowed to love and marry a mortal. Immortals are destined for another immortal. If ever an immortal decides to love a mortal, the moment he confesses his love to the mortal, he will lose his immortality and die that very moment. Wilfred, Dionne’s husband came from an immortal family in France. Karenina, Boris’ wife, is also from an immortal family who lives in United Kingdom. Xavier’s girlfriend and fiancé, Heidi, was born in Sweden to an immortal family. And that is the reason why your mom and I went to Germany. We need to personally meet Mitchell before we introduce you to him.”

“Who’s Mitchell?”

“The man we know would be the perfect husband for you. We’re not forcing you to marry him, of course. But we want you to take him into consideration,” Laverne’s mother finally spoke.

Now, all the questions that had been troubling her were finally answered. Except she wasn’t expecting that the answer would be immortality. Is this what Deborah has been talking about? The answers she would get? So, she knew all along but she never told me. She was never in the position to, in the first place. It was all too much for her and Laverne is starting to drown with all that she had heard. She needed air. Fresh air.

deathless (chapter three)

Caleb just hang up his cell phone. A few minutes ago he was talking to the Duchess of Portugal, his grandmother. She was asking him far too many questions, and it irritated him. Is it really because you’re concerned of my current situation or just because you needed me for the heirship? As far as Caleb knows, because of his father’s actions, the title of being a baron would be taken away from him, and he, Caleb, would be succeeding him. Even if his father had a son with his current wife, the boy would never be considered as an heir for in the royal laws of Portugal, the boy is not a legitimate son, though was born in a legitimate marriage. The first marriage, along with its offspring, are the legitimates to the titles involved. In fact, his mother still has the right to be the Baroness of Portugal if she hadn’t denounced it during the divorce hearing.

What if I, myself, refused the title? That would cause more chaos in the royal family. It had been the center of the news for years now, since the rumors of the baron having another woman and the divorce of the royal couple went out. It has been a long time since the royal family lost its power over the country and its people but it still stands and serves as a foundation for the current government of Portugal. Now, it served as an entertainment. It had completely lost its power. And it is in Caleb’s hands to regain it. He knew that his grandparents are now looking up to him to save the royal family from the embarrassment his father had caused. Can he do it? Or will he also be another embarrassment to the royal family? Doesn’t a saying goes that like father, like son? No, he doesn’t want to be like his father. Now, he knew that from the very beginning his father was wrong to accuse him of being weak. It was he, the former Baron of Portugal, who is weaker. He never had the strength to fight against love, the love he had for that woman, that home-wrecker. He should have been strong enough to stand by his family, strong enough to fight his personal desires and think of other people.

That is the reason why he was sent to Switzerland: to be a stronger person by coming to terms with all the painful memories from the past and the present. He finally realized everything. They wanted him to be strong, not for himself, but for the whole family. And that is what he is going to do.

deathless (chapter two)

“So, what do you think of my school?” asked Fiona.

“It’s wonderful. Thanks for taking me here and touring me around,” said Caleb.

“No biggie. I know you’ll get pretty bored at home.”

Home. It was once has been in a beautiful ranch back in Portugal with all those large trees and blooming flowers everywhere, plus a lake nearby. But now, home is nowhere in particular. Since his parents divorced, his mom, along with his two younger sisters, moved to New York. He was sent here to Switzerland, his mother’s hometown, with reason unknown. He doesn’t want to go with his mom neither does he want to stay in Portugal. No, that would be too absurd. He wanted to go somewhere in Asia like Taiwan or Brunei. Philippines would also do. Yet, he was sent here to Switzerland where his father and mother first met. Where they were married. Where he was born. Too many memories came back to him since he arrived. And he hated it. He can’t do anything about it. It was a definite order from his grandparents, the Duke and Duchess of Portugal. Does it have anything to do with being the only heir of his father’s title? Caleb suddenly wondered.

“I just noticed, Fiona, people here in your school looks really big time,” Caleb spurted out just to dismiss the thought that suddenly occurred to him.

“Of course. It’s a school for the elite’s, cousin. Have you forgotten?” Fiona is starting to be sarcastic. There are times that she thinks this cousin of hers has been too highly oriented back in Portugal that he had already forgotten what kind of family he has here in Switzerland. Yes, it might not be a royal family, but it sure is a family that belongs to the Swiss elite group. If not, would his father ever marry his mother? “Why? You feel indifferent? If I am not mistaken, you should be used in seeing people like these. You studied in elite schools all your life. Or is that because you’re more used to seeing people more elite than this? Royalties should I say?” Now, she’s being harsh.

“I’m sorry. It’s just what I have observed. So, people here comes in guarded and chaperoned. And maybe there are some who comes with a complete entourage.”

“Well, most of us comes to school in cars driven by our personal drivers. But there is only one person here that comes in guarded, take note: heavily guarded, chaperoned and comes with a complete entourage, as what you have just described.”

“Let me guess. The Swiss president’s son or daughter?”

“Nope. The president’s children doesn’t study here. They study in London.”

“Then, who?"

“The Beaufort’s youngest daughter.”

“Oh, that mysterious Beaufort.”

“Leonard really got you hang on that, huh.”

“Not exactly. I just enjoyed playing one of my antics on him. I really got him irritated."

“He expected to have a companion on that one.”

“So, the Beaufort’s has a daughter? Do you know her? Is she beautiful?”

“I actually don’t know. I haven’t seen her nor bumped into her. And even if I did, I wouldn’t know that it is her. Yes, she’s popular here in school but only a very few people could point you to her.”

At that moment, they passed by a girl, about five feet and six inches in height with a superbly fit body that could be mistaken as a surfer’s, and took Caleb’s attention away from Fiona. She was obviously one studious girl with all the books in her arms and a laptop case slung on her left shoulder aside from the shoulder bag she has. When her eyes met Caleb’s, she gave him a wan smile, which though absurd, actually took Caleb’s breath away. He could not look back at her for Fiona was about to introduce a couple of her friends.

“Laverne, it’s time to go.” Laverne didn’t notice when exactly Deborah came into the scene. She was too absorbed in keeping her balance after she almost bumped into the guy who’s with that Goulbourn girl.

“I still need to do a few more errands, Debbie.”

“Couldn’t you just put it off and do it tomorrow? If you really need do it now, then I’ll get one of your bodyguards to do it for you. We really need to get going. Today is your pictorial.”

“No. There’s no need. I could do it tomorrow. Let’s go and get this curse of a pictorial over and done with.”

“Two days more and the party the whole country has been talking about for months will finally come to pass. Are you not excited about it, Laverne?” Deborah asked her on their way home from the studio.

“You have asked that same question a couple of times already and you know what I will answer,” Laverne sarcastically said, implying the answer Deborah always give her whenever she asks her own undying question.

“Laverne, I know that there are a lot of questions in your mind and you are in need of answers. Just be a bit more patient, sweetie. You will soon get them,” Deborah was trying to sympathize, though she knew she couldn’t. She knew that Laverne is going through a lot of pain, but it is beyond her to help. All she could do is to be there for Laverne. The precious Laverne Gwendolyn of the Beaufort family. Yes, she has siblings. She has an older sister, the eldest of the family, and two more older brothers. But she was the favorite, from their parents to their grandparents even unto some uncles and aunties. She will soon get the answers and the reasons for all her questions. Just two more days and you’ll understand, Laverne.

Soon, Laverne was in the comfort of her room, which is large enough to house three persons. She realized she hasn’t seen her parents for more than a week already. Isn’t she used to it? There are times that they are gone much, much longer than that. But somehow, this trip was different. She was never told the purpose of why her parents are going to Germany. Her parents, most of the time, her mom, would inform her about their trips abroad and its purposes. This time, they didn’t. She just came home one day from school and found out that her parents are gone. It gave her a sudden shudder. What if one day, she would come home and find out that her parents are actually gone? Forever gone? She couldn’t stand the idea. She would be alone if that happens. Her eldest sister, Dionne, is happily settled down in France with a loving husband and twins. So is her eldest brother, Boris, who just married last year and is now living in Scotland. Xavier, her other brother, is in Greece managing one of the family’s companies there. He just comes home every Christmas. They all had their own lives to think about now. Their own freedom. While she is still trapped. Is there any chance that she will get hers? If so, when? She wanted it so badly now. Now, that most of the girls of her age are enjoying life on their own.

a tribute

this video is a tribute to the two of the most amazing women i have ever met. in the past months, they have experienced too much controversies and issues that caused them a lot of pain. yet, seeing them still smiling (not to mention, still beautiful) and still ready to face life just made me so proud to be called their friend, their sister. they continue to serve as my inspiration to go on and enjoy life as what it is (though i haven't experienced what they have been through, and cris is almost "cursing" me in her wish that my turn would come).





to anna and cris, i am just so proud of you, seeing you standing up after the pain. i know that someday, somebody will come in your life to love you as you deserve to be loved and that you will also love that somebody in return. (and i can't wait for that day!)





i love you so much...

deathless (chapter one)

“Who owns that big house in between the two hills?” asked Caleb. It has been almost twenty years since he last visited Switzerland. Twenty years… Such a long time and so much has changed. He was still a little boy back then. At the same time, he still had a happy family. Since when had it been dysfunctional? He should have noticed. He should have known. So he could have taken some action before this major family heartbreak had happened. Besides, isn’t he the one who should have known it from the beginning? He’s the eldest and the only son of the family. He’s more than an heir. He should have been a protector, a keeper. His father was right. He was useless. He was weak. His father… The person he has always looked up from the beginning is now the person who had betrayed them. The reason why his family is now what they call dysfunctional. Broken…

“You don’t know?” answered his cousin, Leonard.

“Of course he doesn’t know, dummy. He had always lived in Portugal,” Fiona, his other cousin and Leonard’s elder sister, butt in. “The Beaufort family owns that mansion, Caleb.”

“Are there still people living in there? It looks like haunted.”

“You think so too? I always thought it is. In fact, there are really scary stories, not just about that house, but also about the family itself,” Leonard said.

“Stop those nonsense, Leonie. All of those are just rumors,” Fiona warned, being the ever-responsible, always-smart and no-nonsense girl.

“Rumors or not, they sound interesting. Go on, Leonard. Tell me about it,” Caleb said with his eyes filled with excitement.

“Duh. I should have known that another Leonard is coming over and I should have prepared myself,” Fiona was mumbling as she walked away from the two boys.

Blame my father for that. If he hadn’t left my mother for another woman, I wouldn’t be here. We would still be a happy family somehow. But for how long? He knew in his heart that the little love his mother had for his father has totally faded away since he was born.

“It was said that the Beaufort family has supernatural powers,” Leonard was already starting his story. “It was said that they are wizards and witches which is why they are immortal.”

“Immortal? As in, they don’t die and they live forever? That’s creepy,” commented Caleb.

“I don’t know how it exactly goes but, yes, they are immortal. And, yes, I also find it creepy. I can’t help imagining how they look like if they don’t die. It’s just like zombies!” and he actually gave an obvious shudder.

“Whoever made up that rumor, he sure have sold a million copies if he had put in print,” put on Caleb, obviously enjoying playing his prank games with his cousin, who happens to be four years younger than him.

“My friends and I never thought of it as a rumor. There are times that we wished we could sneak in the house and prove it ourselves.”

“Really? Tell me if you find a really charming chick. OK, buddy?” and gave his cousin a wink.

Leonard, obviously irritated, stood up and said, “They have educated you far too much that you already forgot the meaning of having fun.” Then, he walked away.

“But I am having fun!” Caleb shouted back.

In fact, this was the most fun he had since the trouble in his family started. He looked up at the mansion once again and secretly wished to have been in the place of the mysterious Beaufort family than being a member of the royal Santibañez family of Portugal.

What Caleb Luis Antonio Santibañez y Goulbourn doesn’t know that behind one of the windows of the Beaufort mansion, a very beautiful girl was looking out and wishing the opposite of Caleb’s. Laverne Gwendolyn Daniels Beaufort was wishing she had a normal life like most people do. At least, she doesn’t have to roam around the mall with bodyguards and a chaperone. She could go to every coolest parties and bars without being watched secretly. She could watch all the latest concerts in town and not having to worry about her curfew. And, what she wanted the most is that she could love anyone she wished, that her family does not need to dictate to her whom she should marry. A wish she knew is so impossible to happen. Growing up in an elite and popular family has been a thorn in Laverne’s neck since she was a little girl. She never thought of all the things she could have and could do with the money and the influence her family has. All she ever wanted was to taste the sweetness of freedom. For her, the word itself is sweet enough but it will never satisfy her. She needed more than a word. She needed the reality.

“Laverne, the designer is here with your gowns,” Deborah, her personal nanny whom she had known since she don’t know when, announced.

“Is it really necessary, Deborah?”

“You have asked that same question a couple of times already and you know what I will answer.”

“I don’t want any of this. I just want my freedom, even just a taste of it. Why can’t they allow me to spend my 23rd birthday in Thailand or in Brazil? Alone.”

“You will know the answers to your questions in the right time, Laverne. In fact, it will be soon. Now, we need to go and see the designer. She’s already waiting.”

lessons well-learned

a few days ago, a sophomore approached me and asked me the following questions she needed for her research work, and here are my answers:

1) what is the reason why you don't want to be a teacher? (i chuckled so much in this question)
- the reason i don't want to be a teacher is that i don't see myself as somebody who has an impact to a younger generation. i don't see myself as somebody they would look up to and be inspired to do something good in their life (because i don't consider myself a goody-good girl). at the same time, i am more of an informer than an educator. an informer is somebody people look for to gather information. an informer gives the information but doesn't bother if the person asking for information understands him or not. that's primarily because he's just an informer. on the other hand, an educator is the one who reaches out to the people who needs information. in fact, he doesn't simply give information, he educates while he reach out for them. he would lower or humble himself just for the sake of his students to understand him. honestly, i'm also a bit sarcastic so if my students don't understand me, i don't care. and i know sarcasm isn't a teacher's trait.

2) are you forced by your parents that's why you're enrolled here (LD Woosley Bethany Colleges)?
- i wasn't forced. i have learned a long time ago that everybody always has choices. it's either you don't look for one or you just let other people choose for you that's why you think you have no choice at all. on my part, i had a choice: to obey my parents or not. i chose to obey knowing that it's God's only commandment with a promise. at the same time, being forced into something isn't like my parents. in the end, if there's somebody to blame for being here, it would be me. =)

3) even if you don't want your course right now, are you studying? and what are the results of your examinations?
- of course i'm studying. personally, i find it ironic knowing that i hated my course (and my school) so much yet i still get pretty good grades. the results of my exams aren't the results you'll find in a student who hates what he's studying. my estimated average wouldn't be lower than 90.

4) how would you maintain good grades with the course you don't like?
- my only motivation right now is my parents. i am not doing this for myself or else, i wouldn't be doing this at all. i would like to fulfill their dream for me with flying colors. at the same time, i look at this as a challenge. if i wouldn't be successful in this course, how much more in the course i wanted to take up (which is 95% harder and more challenging than this)?

5) what is your plan while you're here in LDWBC?
- my plans while i'm here are to study, learn everything i could (academically or not; inside or outside the classroom) and enjoy, at the same time, treasure each person i meet and all the experiences i encounter. i have always believed that every single thing in each person's life happens for a purpose. look for that purpose, make it happen, therefore, you wouldn't waste precious time of your life.

6) what do you really want to be in the future?
- i always wanted to be a doctor, a pediatrician or an obstetrician-gynecologist in particular. that's why i said it's 95% harder and more challenging than my present course. =)

if i were asked these same questions 2-3 years ago, i can assure you, my answers would be way different. i guess these are the things i've learned from the past 4 years of being here, in a position i never thought i would be. which made me think... if things went differently, like i pursued my studies in up or feu, i wouldn't have the chance to learn such lessons. lessons i know i would never learn from anybody, my parents or professors, or from any book i read. for these are learned from life itself, from the experiences you had and the situations you've been. these are the lessons well-learned.